Reality Check

I pride myself on being an honest and realistic mama.  Don't get me wrong, I think that my kid is the best in the world (I told you I WAS realistic and honest,) but I can also admit when she's driving me bonkers or even when she's looking a bit pasty and ragged (like when she's tired or sick...like her mama!)  I feel like moms feel pressured to claim that life is all roses, they are perfect moms, and their kids are perfect, even though it isn't true (or maybe they actually feel this way...as 90 percent of playgroup moms in Seattle claim this...but don't worry, they quote "studies" to back up their bizarre parenting practices.)  Which makes new moms all the more confused when they experience reality.
So, I don't know why it's so hard for me to admit that this age is tough for me.  I love this age, she is so bright, she talks to me, she remembers things, she plays and she has a sense of humor.  But with all this comes lots of fits, purposeful disobedience, and constant shot nerves...sans rational thinking.  I think that 26 months+ is 75% easier than 18-25 months (don't ask why I chose 75%, k?  I did my research-ish...plus, 100 was too much.)  Because I feel this way, I also feel GUILTY all of the time.  She's such a blessing, I know this in my head and heart.  But, she.wears.me.out.  I would say this is my stage, not hers, but the toddler room had the EXACT effect on me when I worked with kids.  Baby room?  loved!  Toddler room?  EXHAUSTING!  My twos room?  LOVED!  New kids in my room?  Wore me out until about a month or two AFTER the transition.  Then, I was golden.    
To be honest, the biggest guilt comes from somewhere else.  This age might not be my favorite, but it definitely has its perks.  The guilt comes from the fact that (because she is this age) for the first time in her life, I need breaks.  I took them when she was younger, but not because I needed them, but because I was told I needed them.  Now...I need them.  I've never felt this way before.  She was such an easy (yet still spirited) newborn, baby, and even early toddler.  Suddenly, I need them.  Ask my mom, who witnessed firsthand her 15 min fit on the floor of the movie theater because she wanted another bag of candy.  A part of it is cute, but for the most part, I get judgey eyes from other people and it is exhausting.  As much as I can ignore the fits, this girl is strong willed (the baby whisperer calls her "spirited.")  
So, I need to stick with my realistic mama tendencies and admit, I can feel two different ways at once.  This age is hard for me, but I also love many parts of this stage to pieces and I don't want to see her grow up too fast.  I love my kid more than my life, and even though this stage clashes with my control freak tendencies, I feel blessed every second of every day for her.  I'm not promised another, so I am enjoying every piece of every stage, difficult or not.  Plus, she so totally cute, I mean, LOOK at her!  (see?  REALISTIC!  BAM!)

Speaking of judgy, she wouldn't touch any balls in the ball pit unless they were her favorite color

What happens when I leave her alone in the backseat with stickers