Reality Check

I've had a few reality checks lately. Not that they are always negative, sometimes they are positive.

1. I'm not a babe, I'm a babymaker. KVoight, and BVoight came to visit this weekend. One thing I have always loved about Kelly is her brutal honesty :) The first night, to my excitement (since Danny doesn't allow some things to be watched in his household) we watched So You Think You Can Dance. Well, let's just say I thought I found my true calling - hip hop dancing! I made a side comment such as "wow, I want HER abs." What does my dear friend tell me RIGHT away? "Honey, don't you be hoping for those in at least the next year." Ohhhhhh, how true.
I would have to say that the first trimester is quite a difficult time. Not only do I feel like I have a permanent hangover, but my body is definitely not my own. It has a mind of its own, actually. I will spare the grisly details, but nobody can truly be prepared for pregnancy. Let's just say that when a uterus goes from plum to grapefruit, it is impossible to not have bodily changes, despite what some of those crazy books suggest.
In a book I bought this afternoon - The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy - the author describes it perfectly. In fact, reading it made me feel a bit more comfortable in my body. For all of you who are pregnant, or might one day become pregnant, I suggest reading that book over What to Expect - which makes you feel crazy, fat, abnormal, and scared. Just saying...

2. You mean I'll also have to be the mother of a tween? I've always been honest with myself. Never did I assume I could be a middle school or high school teacher. I have always said 9 yrs old is the oldest I go. With that in mind, I've chosen to work with children 3 yrs old and younger. The normal woman is probably afraid of being responsible for such a little and fragile newborn. I'll take a newborn - in fact, I'll take four. Potty training? Ha! I laugh in the face of thee! Tantrums? Bring them on!
However, I've warned Danny that he might be a single father once our child hits tween years. That's where my fear kicks in full drive. Hannah Montana? Tacky Limited Too? Sex talks??!! Obnoxious friends? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
This is not a short term position, I'm now a mother forever. I'm not a mother to an infant or toddler forever (which I might be able to handle.) No, I'm a mother to an infant, toddler, child, tween, teen, AND adult. Dang, that's a long commitment. Luckily, God makes them really little and cute when they come out, so you learn to love them lots before then get to that stage.

3. Danny's reality is starting to hit - Our neighbors have a 2 yr old and twin babies. When on call, Danny sleeps downstairs (on the new sectional) with windows open...as long as possible. Seeing as how NOBODY has air conditioning here (crazy Satellite's,) everyone has their windows open. The babies wake Danny up frequently, seeing as how they ARE babies. Today he admitted that he is a bit fearful of how the nights will go when he HAS to sleep. He will soon learn that though you can somewhat stop your wife and dog from waking you up with snoring, a baby will not listen to your complaints when it comes to crying. Sorry, sweetheart!

4. My God is the God to all - I know the world I live in, the sin and warfare and all that goes along. The thing is, my God is my baby's God...and my God is more than a felt board story. Christ died because sin is real, the devil is real, warfare is real. We need to be saved because we can't do it on our own. That means that Christ died because my child needs to be saved because my child can't do it on his/her own. I was listening to a Nathan Partain song - When I See the Blood. It is a moving song that references the Passover and the way it mirrors God's promise to us through Christ. The song blows me away because I realize the power of Christ. One day, I was listening to it, and it blew me away because as I realized the power of Christ - I realized how my child will be born in the same world as me, which means Christ died for my baby as well. Sometimes I like to think that my child will be completely protected, but the scariness and the relief is that I am not my child's Savior, that is Christ's job. My job is to teach my child in the Lord, pray for my child's heart, and to trust in my God's power of Salvation. Sin and warfare can be truly terrifying (a traumatic event - according to Suzette) especially knowing my child lives in this world as well, but as a believer, I get the confidence that the war is already won - and that is Peace only Christ can bring.