Our little Antsy Pants...

So, this little Moore family had quite the week this past week. Last Tuesday, without asking her mommy and daddy for permission first, Ruthie decided to try to come into this world a wee bit early (I was only 27.5 weeks.) She is grounded as soon as she does come, for at least a month! (unless she finds something to do, right dad?) We arrived at the hospital in time, and they eventually stopped most of the contractions. Last Tuesday, I was 1 cm dilated, 80% effaced and having strong contractions every 3 minutes. I took a fFN test which you basically want to see a negative because that can help you breathe easy for 2 weeks, but I received a positive. There are plenty of false positives, but getting one means you can NOT breathe easy. With all of these things combined, my OB was confident in diagnosing me with preterm labor.
For now, I have weekly appointments and weekly ultrasounds (personally, I think Ruthie did this on purpose because she's a ham and just wanted pictures taken every week,) and I am on bed rest for the time being which is very difficult for a Freeman girl because

1. I have to watch my husband clean and not say a word. He is so precious in all he has done for me, along with working a resident's schedule. But, I could never watch even a professional maid clean my house without saying something, let alone a man...who is my husband. I was in the hospital trying to clean, now I'm trying to sit in my own house all day and not clean. This is NOT okay!
2. I'm hyper, this is NOT easy.
3. I'm nesting here, people! I've got to be ready in case she does come early! Laundry to do, rugs to buy, things to do!

Regardless, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to help keep her until full term. It is such a mind change to go from a "perfect" pregnancy (as my OB called it two weeks before this incident...I don't know if I would have agreed that first trimester, but from a health perspective, I'm sure) to high risk literally over night.
Tuesday night was one of the scariest nights I've experienced thus far. The fears and feelings going through me at the time cannot be completely empathized unless

1. you are a mommy
and
2. you have gone through something similar

I say this not because I think moms themselves can't empathize to a certain extent, but the thought of losing your child, or your child not having the healthy beginning previously planned is just that - a thought - unless it becomes real. It's then that you realize how little control you have with your child's development and how fragile this whole process actually is. Not even Danny can know, though he is just as helpless, if not more, than myself. But, the thoughts (rational or not) go straight to "what did I do wrong" "what is wrong with me that I can't do this right" and all in all "something is wrong, it has something to do with me and why?" Thinking about these thoughts make me realize that these are all feeble attempts to gain control of the situation. If it has to do with me, then I can control it. All in all, the whole experience was and is very scary. We went from planning a tour in the birthing center to a Social Worker offering a tour of the NICU. But what God has told me time and time again throughout this process is that He is in control. He is the one knitting this little one, and she is the gift He is graciously creating. So, as much as we can plan, He is still in control.
We are so blessed to have so many prayer warriors in our lives, and that has been the case with our little girl. Today, at my appointment, Dr. Kimelman came in to see where we were this week. We are still 1 cm dilated, but I'm almost to the normal range with effacement - which is a huge improvement! She was so shocked this happened. It looks as though Ruthie really wanted to come last week, but now she is calming down! Dr. Kimelman had not expected this much improvement with my medications, and I can only attribute it to all of the prayers for my precious peanut. I am so grateful for everyone out there who have been my little Ruthie's prayer warriors. Thank you.